I’ve got a neighbor who refuses to shovel her walk. Not for 4 inches of snow, not for the 26 inches we just got over the weekend. When I asked her about it this afternoon while she was busily digging out her car and throwing the snow from that onto the sidewalk she hadn’t bothered to shovel her response was “I did the best I could on the front.” And my reply was “It’s your property and you’re required to shovel the walk.”
Her response: “I’m tired.”
And what I should have said instead of “Yeah, and I shoveled for 7.5 hours on Saturday and managed to get my walk and my mother’s walk right across the street cleared so I know about being tired.” was
“I don’t care.”
or
“Really? And were you tired when you didn’t shovel the four inches of snow we got last Wednesday?”
or
“Then perhaps you should park your vehicle in front of your house instead of on our short, no-outlet street with limited parking.”
or
“Well, if you can’t maintain your property, maybe you should move.”
or
“Gee, you know, my mother told me people like you existed but I never thought I’d actually meet a permanent, full-time asshole. Thank you for a unique life experience.”
If it didn’t take so much energy I would, tomorrow while she is at work, shovel the entire walk into the parking space she so lovingly cleared. It’s going to be especially fun with the 10-20 inches of additional snow we’re predicted to get overnight Tuesday.
Of course, the other thing I’m left to deal with besides my OCD and my impotent rage is an absolute rapture at the stupidity of pissing off someone who knows where you live. Not that she doesn’t know where I live but were I a more vengeful a person I would dare her to prove that I’m the one who injected soda into your driver’s side door lock during the night so it could freeze solid for several hours before a work day.
Update: Petty Revenge
Our trash collection happens in the alleys in my neighborhood which means that it won’t be happening probably for the rest of the month. I have two ways to get to my can: I can go out the back and open my gate or I can go out the front and walk down the alley with my trash to my garage where my trash and recycling cans are sitting. With 2+ feet of drifted snow against my gate, going out the back wasn’t an option.
And as I was trying to figure out how I was going to drag a trash bag and a bag of recyclables down an alley piled with with snow and rutted with ice crusted tire tracks I noticed that my neighbor on the corner had very carefully cleared the snow off the top of her city-issued can.
Well, you know, I was tired from shoveling all that snow so I just put my trash in the most convenient can. I just can’t help it if that means that her trash can is now full and she won’t have any place to put her refuse. ’cause, you know, I was tired. Petty, yes? But you know, the problem with karma is that you hardly ever get to watch in in action. And yeah, maybe I’ve done my own karma some damage by doing something mean, but I think it all balances out.
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