I had to buy a sympathy card today. Fuck I hate that.
Not only do I hate it because it means someone I care about is going through something that I can relate to but do nothing to help with I also hate it because no commercial sympathy card ever expresses quite the right sentiment.
Maybe it’s because I’m not a Christian and I can’t relate to the concept of prayer being a source of comfort. It might be because I’m sensitive enough to know that the death of someone you care for is never monochromatic, neat, or easily packaged. What happens, I always ask myself, if my friend receives this well meant expression of feeling on a day when she’s totally pissed off at her mother for dying? ’cause I know what I want when I’m pissed off is a whole bunch of mass-produced treacle designed to “comfort you in your hour of sadness.”
What happened to the nice photograph on the front and “with deepest sympathies” on the inside? When did we stop being able to express our own emotions and start needing to lean on some anonymous writer in Kansas City to do it for us?
I guess the price of getting older is having to do this more often. It’s still better than any of the alternatives.
I hate almost all cards for any occasion, simply because of the poor writing. The more difficult the event, the more bloated the prose becomes.
Perhaps a card with an elegant photo and blank insides is a solution( so you could insert something more personal and comforting to the individual, minus the preprinted treacle)?
I am often unsure how to express the support, sympathies and sadness. On one level, the card seems like a cop-out, but it also seems slightly better than brooding in corner (as I am wont to do), wondering how to express the proper level of support, sympathy and sadness. O, analysis paralysis.