What do you do when someone you love does something that merits one and then delivers a sincere apology?
I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to kill your plant while you were on vacation/break your favorite coffee mug/hurt your feelings/step on your foot/insult your mother’s cooking/leave four squares of toilet paper on the rod and no spare in the bathroom cupboard…again/insert the interpersonal transgression of your choice here.
What do you say to that?
“It’s OK” just doesn’t seem right; after all, if it was really OK it wouldn’t be an act that merits an apology. “Don’t do it again” seems way too judgemental, particularly if the apology is heartfelt. And “apology accepted” just seems too formal and cold to me for some situations.
So why is it we can get advice on making a proper apology but not on accepting one?
I did that just last week – I said “It’s okay, don’t feel bad for hurting me”. And it was only later that I realized how silly that must have sounded. I don’t know what else I could have said.
I think the most useful response is something like, “Thank you.” Thank you for wanting to clear up this situation, for caring enough about me to try, and even though it can’t be fixed or erased, I appreciate that you want to.
Try: “Yeah, well, see it doesn’t happen again,” delivered in a jovial tone with an appropriate gesture of affection [hug, kiss, grope, whatever takes your fancy].