…between settling and accepting limitations?
Does how much we can control the circumstances make the difference or is it how we react to what we can’t control that determines whether we’re settling for less than that to which we’re entitled or merely accepting what is as fact and adjusting appropriately?
Job hunting gives you a very clear idea of what is out of your control and what isn’t. Plain and simple truth, a good portion of the process is just not under the job seeker’s influence. Yes, you can do many things to affect how a potential employer sees you (make sure your resume is accurate, your cover letter topical to the particular position rather than obviously out of a book, spell check and proof read everything before you send it off, follow up with a thank you note, etc) but once you’ve done all that it’s really out of your hands.
All this got me to thinking how much of our lives truly are out of our hands and how much of our lives can be changed by how we react to those circumstances. My mother told me recently that at some point there would be a barely audible click and I’d just stop giving a shit about what other people think about me. She turned 61 last June and she’s already working the “old lady” vibe; you know, I can be eccentric and slightly rude but I’m a little old lady so I’ll just smile sweetly and you’ll give me what I want .
It’s also got me thinking about how much of my life has been about doing what I perceived to be “what was expected of me” rather than what I wanted to do at the time. I’m not talking about taking out the trash or doing chores. I’m talking about the whole concept of duty, doing what is necessary simply because it needs to be done.
I’m thinking a lot these days and not drawing very many conclusions.